These are the sounds of me waking up our horrendous night sleep. Night 1, NT camping adventure.
We hired a campervan at the recommendation of the nice lady in Darwin tourism. She said, yep well priced company, heard good things and don't go with Wicked Campers. We have ended up with a completely different campervan to what we expected. For the purposes of helping you understand, all the words in apostrophes are things that we were told the campervan HAS, that it clearly DOES NOT HAVE.
It's a 'new' Mitsubishi van with air conditioning and 'working sound system'. It sleeps two, has a gas stove fridge and 'microwave'. It is cheap with 'no hidden extras'. And most importantly it has 'fly screens'.
Really, the rest of the van features we could not care about not having. But people, I deeply, deeply regret driving out of that car yard without checking for BLOODY FLY SCREENS. Kakadu is mozzie central. Mozzies of Australia have their annual conferences here, to learn how to become more ruthless and more badass mozzies. They are huge. Not only are they itchy, but they HURT when they bite. They are, in a word, bastards.
We made dinner too late which meant we cooked in the dark, but here you might as well say 'in the mozzies.' because where there is dark, there is mozzies. We escaped to our van and managed to kill about 50 that had found their way in. Then we went to sleep. Half an hour later we woke drenched in our own sweat. The van was an unbearable hothouse. I jump at the window to open it for some fresh air.... For 5 minutes the window gives some relief. But then we realise, hell hath unleashed its fury on us. The whole van is FULL of mozzies. I make the trip to the front reception to ask how much a cabin costs for the night. $170. Not happening. Do you have any fly screens? No.
Toby has spent these 20 mins On a killing rampage and while he may not be the Crocodile Hunter let him from this time now be known as Tobias, Mozzie Slayer.
The night was spent waking every two hours to turn on the van and blast the air conditioning for half an hour. This morning is still, beautiful in Kakadu, and there is not a.... No wait, one little bastard just bit my arm!!!!!! $&!?!*#
So what to do today? Do we drive two hours back to darwin to sort this out ? Or do we just continue on in this bizarre fashion and come back with zero body fluid due to over sweating?
I have not the answer.
Ps. We did the Croc jumping cruise yesterday... It was AWESOME! I was so close to a massive croc I could have reached out to pat it.
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